Friday story: Power Goals

At the age of 30, my life looked to others like “the picture of success” – an enviable career, lots of friends, and a great marriage. But on the inside I was hurting badly.
What I wanted more than anything else was to have a baby and the question why I couldn’t became existential. Was I not supposed to be a mom? What did life have in mind for me, if not motherhood? Was it my relationship that was failing?
For the first time in my adult life, I had no control of my situation.
No matter how hard I tried, I could not influence the outcome. I was doing “everything” and investigating all possible solutions through doctors, homeopaths, blood tests, temperatures, psychics, adoption, and eventually IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). But all I got out of it was a horrible roller coaster ride of hormones, hopes, and grief.
My mind was overwhelmed with frustration and sadness, as my body rejected one egg after another.
I was too embarrassed to talk about it and I never shared how I really felt. I was happy for my friends when they had babies… but at the same time, I was crying my eyes out.
On top of this, I was in a job where I was working 60-100 hours per week, travelling 80% of my time, being so exhausted when I came home that there was no energy left.
My emotional life was a mess, strained to its limit.
Now, I was brought up in a demanding family… and all my life I had been driven by other people’s high expectations. I started school one year early, and was sent away to boarding school in England at the tender age of 12.
The decision, of course, was not mine – and I was totally homesick, crying myself to sleep each night.
By the time my parents visited at mid-term, I had made up my mind to go home, and was waiting for them with my bags already packed. But my father ruled that I was to stay. The last thing he said was, “If you accomplish this, you will be able to accomplish anything in life.” So I stayed.
I attended high school in the United States, and after graduating, I was accepted as the youngest student to the Stockholm School of Economics – where the highest grades are required. Once again, I was doing everything that was expected of me.
But were these my goals or somebody else’s? Was it just the fact that, in my family, “everybody” had gone to that very same school, and many of my friends wanted to go there?
I was living a life without listening to my own voice or setting my own goals. I kept on doing everything that was expected of me and I did it without any type of reflection on what I REALLY wanted.
On one of my business trips, I met with a colleague and told him my story. He gave me a book on personal development and, for the first time, I started to reflect on my situation and my life. That was my turning point.
I started asking myself questions like: “Is this the life I have chosen, or has it been chosen for me?”… “What do I REALLY want in life?”… “Is this the relationship I want for the rest of my life?”… “Am I doing work that I love?”… “Where do I want to live?”… “Are my friends really friends that I can count on or are they just acquaintances?”
I finally realized that I had to take ACTIVE RESPONSIBILITY for my life. For the first time, I set goals that were truly my own, not influenced by others. They were big. They were bold. And they were even scary.
But they were mine, and they gave me a feeling of power I had never felt before, from just setting goals. So I called them my POWER Goals.
Since I started applying Power Goals to my life, I’ve become truly fulfilled. The first Power Goal resulted in the birth of my daughter, Alexandra – and like magic, I now have four wonderful children. Because of my second Power Goal, I am now remarried and in a true and loving relationship. My third Power Goal resulted in me leaving the corporate world, starting my own business, and now having full freedom of time, money, and location.
After my own experience, I started sharing the concept with others – using their successes and feedback to fine-tune my system. That allowed me to write, Power Goals: 9 clear steps to achieve life-changing goals
So if you too have ever had thoughts like these:
·    I need to find some balance between work and the rest of my life.
·    The spark has gone out of my career – I feel like I’m meant to be doing something else.
·    I have so many big ideas, but I don’t have a road-map on how to get there.
·    Am I working towards my own goals, or someone else’s?
… then maybe you need to experience the life-changing magic of making your own POWER GOALS.
Christina Skytt

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