Your Professional Life Can Soar—If You Take Charge of Your Personal Life by Connie Podesta

Think your personal and professional lives aren’t intertwined? Think again. Chances are that despite your best attempts to keep the two separate, the quality and stability of your personal life often have a direct impact upon the quality and success of your professional life. In fact, for many people, their professional life mirrors their personal life.
When your personal life is stable and happy, this mirroring is a good thing. Your professional life will be productive and rewarding because you’ll be able to direct your attention and energy to your work, your customers and your teammates. However, if your personal life is filled with turmoil, grief or pain, your professional life will very often suffer. When you’re emotionally drained from hours of conflict, sadness or abuse at home, it’s difficult to focus on even the simplest work-related task.
Although many employers do realize there will be times in their employees’ lives when circumstances beyond their control may affect their ability to perform on the job, they still have certain expectations:
1. They expect employees to try to deal with their personal problems on their own and to ask for help only with the most serious problems;

2. They expect employees to make every reasonable effort to get help if they need it;

3. They expect employees to work with them to find a solution, such as a temporary replacement or a new work schedule, so they can continue to provide the best service to their customers while they work together with their employees to deal with their problems.

Regardless of what may be occurring in your personal life at the moment, there are steps you can take to meet your employer’s expectations while taking charge of your personal life:
1. Separate the “Big” Stuff from the “Little” Stuff: If you’re constantly upset, depressed, stressed or involved in a life “emergency,” your job performance will continually decline and your employer’s patience will finally wear thin. Before you bring your most current “crisis” into the workplace, decide whether it’s big enough to warrant assistance. While you can expect compassion and help for dealing with big problems, such as the death of a spouse or a catastrophic illness, you can’t expect the same kind of support for little problems, such as the dog being ill or your child’s softball game being rescheduled. Once you learn to separate the big stuff from the little stuff, you can keep your personal life in order by reacting to the problem appropriately.
2. Get Help if You Need It: Ultimately it’s your responsibility to make every effort possible to work through your crisis, even if it means getting help from outside sources. However, the hardest thing for many people to do is admit they need help. They mistakenly believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness, when in reality the opposite is true. For the most part, people who ask for help tend to be very strong and determined not to become victims of abuse, neglect, violence or tragedy. Remember, whether you solve your problem yourself or with the help of others, the results are worth the effort: peace of mind, healthier relationships, a new outlook on life and, of course, better on-the-job performance.
3. Work with Your Organization to Find a Solution: When you do have a “big” problem that justifiably affects your job performance, let your manager know about it as soon as possible. Trying to keep it a secret or hoping no one will notice may increase the stress already induced by the event. But instead of revealing your situation and then waiting for your organization to come up with a solution, bring to the meeting some possible solutions that would work for both you and your employer. When you show your employer that you respect their objectives and are prepared to do what it takes to get your personal life back on track, there’s usually little they wouldn’t do to help you. 

Today’s organizations expect their employees to come to work ready to put their full effort and energy into the task at hand. Maintaining a stable personal life is one of the surest ways to accomplish that. 

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