Good Things Come to Those Who Ask by Jack Canfield

Asking for what is need is probably the most under-utilized tool for people. And yet amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they asked for it! Whether it’s money, information, support, assistance or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true. They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless or even greedy. More than likely, though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they are already saying it to themselves by not asking!
Do you ask for what you need and want? Are you afraid of rejection? Well consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There really is no such thing as rejection! You are not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn’t have what you asked for before you asked and you still don’t, so what did you lose? Being rejected does not hold you back from anything—only you hold yourself back! If you are told no, ask what you would have to do to get it, or ask again at another time when the circumstances have changed a bit. Ask if they know someone else who might say yes. When you realize that there is no merit to rejection, you will feel more comfortable asking for things. But you may need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.

First, ask as though you expect to get it. Be confident in your request coming from a perspective that there’s no reason why you wouldn’t get it. If they say no, you can ask them why or what you would need to do to get a yes. You might need to form a better business plan before you will get a loan. You might need to take a course in computers before you will get a promotion. You might need to spend more quality time with your family before you will get the loving support you need. By getting this feedback you are able to make adjustments and ask again with better chances of getting a yes.
Second, assume you can get what you want if you only ask for it. You want to window seat, assume all you have to do is ask for it. You want an ocean view, cheaper tickets, a scholarship, or a better deal? Just ask for it as if that’s all you have to do to get it!
And finally, be specific about what you want or need. Do you want to make $5,000 more a year? Then don’t just ask for a raise. Ask for $5,000 more a year. Vague requests produce vague results. Don’t just ask for more time with your spouse, ask for a date on Friday night. Don’t ask for help on a project, ask for what you want that person to take care of.
Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goal. Practice asking and you’ll get very good at it! You’ll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later. Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life and start asking!

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